FMLA Update – Week Two – Five

For the past month of my FMLA leave, I have been trying to balance living in the moment and doing things with friends and family while also taking care of my health.  I’ve begun taking longer walks than I had previously over the past month and even tried some yoga for arthritis.  Though it felt helpful at the time, I woke up in a lot of pain the following morning, so I haven’t felt terribly inspired to try it again.  I have also started to take baths most nights.  The hot water has helped to relieve some of the pain and combined with reading, it helps relax me and allow me to evade the ever persistent painsomnia.

IMG_3501

I have also started to work on puzzles more frequently.  Whether solo or with Alex, they are also a calming activity to use energy towards that helps me focus – especially in days of intense pain.  Since I am not working at the moment, I have been able to put those spoons towards other things – such as visiting with family or doing housework.  Chronic illness has really helped to put things into perspective for me.  I never thought there was going to be a day where folding laundry or emptying/loading the dishwasher would be exciting, but as a Spoonie, I see it as an achievement.

Sometimes, I am still having trouble balancing the number of spoons I use.  It’s not uncommon for me to be in the hospital the week leading up to my infusion.  Because I had energy, I pushed myself too hard the week before my infusion, and though I had fun, I definitely paid for it.  Dinner with former coworkers, dinner with my brother-in-law, his wonderful girlfriend, and her adorable dog, seeing my grandpa for the first time in over a year, hanging out with one of my best friends, and finishing the week with my Entyvio infusion and MTX shot made for a very lazy weekend. 😊  I worked on cross-stitch and dusted off my drawing skills for something my husband and I are working on.  Once I finished the book Big Little Lies, I began the series which is really good so far!  After some rest, I started the next week by having my friend and mentor over for dinner before she moves to start her new venture, which made for a really lovely night.  Later in the week, Alex and I went on a craft date to Joann Fabrics to get materials for a few different projects – he is seriously the perfect person for me!  Since 2+ hours walking around wore me out, I got to start the next day by catching up with one of my other best friends and watching The Bachelorette together over video chat.  She is someone who has always been by my side, and I love that we can still connect, even when we’re not as close location-wise as we once were.

IMG_3503

Medical updates within the past month haven’t been too vast.  I had my first appointment with my new primary doctor – who I learned was originally training to specialize in GI during his residency.  I also made an appointment with a new GI in my hospital system who my primary recommended.  The only other notable update is that once the insurance company processing my Short-Term Disability claim received my files, they decided to look at my records and evaluate my case for both Short-Term and Long-Term at the same time, because they recognize that my conditions – individually and combined – make for a complex case.  I was originally only going to file the LTD paperwork if I need it, but it is nice that I will likely know whether or not that would be approved prior to needing it.  They reached out to my employer for additional information and requested my medical records from both my current GI and my rheumatologist.  They have all of the information they need, and now I am just waiting to hear their decision!

I hope all my fellow spoonies are doing well!

A Big Announcement

I realized today is exactly one month since the last blog post that I’ve written.  Everything since has been written by my wonderful, caring husband (for Alex’s Caregiver Corner) who has been helping not only with covering blog posts, but also by being my rock during this hard time.  My health has continued to worsen since I was in the hospital, and I’ve been trying to balance work, family, friends, health, self-care, and The Misadventures of a Spoonie without much success.  This past month has been mostly filled with work, some family time, and interrupted sleep/painsomnia with some eating sprinkled in when food actually sounds good.  (Typically, banana bread with chocolate chips, in case you were wondering! 😉)  Thankfully, I love what I do and the people that I work with, which made the past month much more enjoyable, even though my health wasn’t great.

IMG_2224

Since before I went into the hospital, my husband and I have been discussing the possibility of me using FMLA and Short-Term Disability.  Because I enjoy my job and have workaholic tendencies, I have been putting off this decision, but have reached a point where I know my health will continue to decline if I don’t take this time to heal.  I feel really lucky to have the support system I do in making this decision.  Though it’s been difficult, having the support of Alex, other family members, close friends, my incredible supervisor/mentor, and the C-level team of the company I work for has made the decision easier.  With each person I spoke to and felt supported by, a weight was lifted from my shoulders.

This will be a big shift for me, but I am looking forward to having this leave – which begins next week.  My main focus during this time will be getting second opinions, trying to find additional answers, working with doctors to create a treatment plan that works better than my current one, and all the trial-and-error that comes along with it.  As many of you know how exhausting “doctor shopping” can be—and any travel that comes along with it—I will also be trying to be better at practicing better self-care and listening to my body.  Personally, writing content for The Misadventures of a Spoonie and The Great Bowel Movement is quite cathartic for me.  Being able to express my thoughts, feelings, pain, and experiences through writing helps to keep stress levels down, and I love being able to help others in the process.  Through this blog, I plan to document my experiences of being on FMLA, applying for (and hopefully getting) Short-Term Disability, doctor’s appointments, and any major changes in my diagnosis or care.  Plus, I have a stack of mystery novels to read while resting with my pups.

IMG_2225

Here’s to the next three months!  I’ll be posting again soon. 😊

Brainfog & Painsomnia

Hopefully I can get through this post without losing my train of thought… Brainfog is sometimes my most frustrating symptom.  Consistently loosing words, names, or what I was going to say is worrisome to me – as someone who has been known to be good at remembering details.  It’s something I’m often concerned is going to get worse as I age.

For me, my brainfog is always at its worst when I’m in pain and/or in a flare.  It’s feels like my brain and body only has so much capacity, that everything else becomes a blur.  Typically, pain will lead to painsomnia, which just makes the fog heavier the next day.  Thankfully, I have developed a few coping methods to help me on days where I’m extra foggy.

IMG_2258
Staring out into the fog that fills my brain

Notes, notes, notes!  I take notes everywhere, all the time.  To-do lists keep me on track – I keep my work one on my computer and my personal and blog ones on my phone.  Anytime something pops into my head, I will try to jot it down as soon as I can before it gets lost in the abyss.  If I think of something important that’s work related, I’ll email myself notes.  At work, I have also started asking people to email me if they request something of me in person and I can’t make note of it at the time.  I also take audio recordings during some meetings – especially with fast talkers, as long as it’s okay with them.  I’ve found it also helps to explain fog to family, friends, and coworkers to help them understand.  My husband does what he can to keep me on track when I forget what I’m saying.  Thankfully, with a reminder of what I was talking about, I can usually pick up where I was in the story or conversation.  It gets dangerous when I have thoughts I haven’t yet started to get out, because then no one is there to remind me!

Though the fog can be frustrating, there are ways to help remember, even if you can’t clear the fog.  I hope these tips are as helpful to you as they are to me.